My quotes page started to get too big so I've had to begin to subdivide.
These are all by women and tend to be somewhat biting comments about men.
To see other lists, check the bottom of this page.
Quotations by Women
Never lend your car to anyone whom you have given birth.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Women are adaptable to what the man presents to her. If he presents affection she presents affection. If he presents anger then that is what she gives back. And if he present stupidity, then she adapts to the fact that she has to do the thinking for the both of them.
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
You do what you have to do, to do what you want to do.
Life is a series of sales situations, and the answer is no if you don't ask.
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant.
I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . . . and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between macho and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
I think --- therefore I'm single.
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