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You Might Be a Yankee If - - - Photo of a plate of bagels - - - Original photo copyright Jeff Pierson - - - Licensed through iStockphoto.com
You Might Be a Yankee If . . .

Jeff Foxworthy made the line famous: 'You might be a redneck if . . .'.

With the deepest respect to Mr. Foxworthy, this is a look at the other side.

You Might Be a Yankee If . . .

The sound of Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother you.

You've watched the movie Deliverance and you're afraid to go on a camping trip. Ever.

For breakfast, you'd rather have potatoes than grits.

You can name at least four hockey teams.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never eaten okra.

You wonder why people in restaurants don't talk as loud as you do.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun & knife show.

You don't have any problems correctly pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce".

You've never had grain alcohol.

You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.

You've never had bangs.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

You'd rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

You refer to two or more people as "you guys" instead of "y'all".

You think more money should go to important scientific research at our university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

You prefer a bagel over a donut.

You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,Kay Bob, Bob Bob, Sara Jane)

You get freaked out when strangers in public talk to you.

None of your fur coats are made with real fur.

You don't know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.

You think NASCAR stands for the North American Society for . . . (something)

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

Your idea of a perfect meal is "Lahbsta and Clam Chawdah".

You use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.

everything you know about the Civil War you learned watching TV.

You don't "reckon".

You're not "fixin" to do anything.


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This page created:
Fri, 25.Oct.2002

Last updated:
16:17, Sat, 10.May.2014

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jeff foxworthy, redneck, yankee, you might be a yankee if, you might be a redneck if . . . jeff foxworthy, redneck, yankee, you might be a yankee if, you might be a redneck if