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Do you get emails from "friends" alerting you to email viruses? Did you ever wonder if they were "real"? Well the odds are (overwhelming odds at that) . . . they aren't. They are all just junk emails. A special kind of email problem . . . a special kind of urban legend: the virus hoax. Want to know more about how these messages about phony viruses are cluttering up the internet?
In the meantime, here is the mother of all email viruses. Badtimes Virus If you receive an email with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it immediately without reading it. This is the most dangerous email virus yet. It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so that all your ice cream melts. It will de-magnetize the strips on all your credit cards, mar the tracking on your VCR, and use the subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will give your very ex-love interest your new phone number. It will mix anti-freeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when company is coming over. It will put a dead fish in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys when you are late for work. "Badtimes" will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current love interest behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card. It reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It causes a sudden, severe, unheretofore suspected allergy to your dog! It will leave libidinous messages on your boss' voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. "Badtimes" will give you Dutch elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bath tub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your snow blower. These are just a few of the things this virus can do. Be warned......."Badtimes" is BAD!
Feel free to link to this page. Please see my linking tips. If you reference or circulate this material, I appreciate a reference both to the site name (James S. Huggins' Refrigerator Door) and to the URL of this page so that others may see this notice about my use of this material. I didn't write all the stuff on this page. I got it, in part, from email and/or newsgroup postings. Efforts to identify a copyright holder were unsuccessful and it may be anonymous or in the public domain. If you have any information to the contrary, and particularly if you are the original author or copyright holder, please notify me. To send me notices about this information, please see my DMCA page and also my Disclaimers, Copyrights & Other Legal Stuff page. This site seeks use permission from copyright holders and will not post if permission is denied. Whenever ownership information is obtained, I promptly correct the page. (For example, see this page.) I edited, adapted and supplemented this particular version: Copyright © 1997-2008, James S. Huggins. |
Symantec AntiVirus Research
Center — Virus Hoaxes|
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