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Your potted plants stay alive. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up". You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds. Sleeping on the couch is a no-no. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m. Dinner and a movie --- the whole date instead of the beginning of one. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff". You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi and Ho-Ho's "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again". Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.
Feel free to link to this page. Please see my linking tips. If you reference or circulate this material, I appreciate a reference both to the site name (James S. Huggins' Refrigerator Door) and to the URL of this page so that others may see this notice about my use of this material. I didn't write all the stuff on this page. I got it, in part, from email and/or newsgroup postings. Efforts to identify a copyright holder were unsuccessful and it may be anonymous or in the public domain. If you have any information to the contrary, and particularly if you are the original author or copyright holder, please notify me. To send me notices about this information, please see my DMCA page and also my Disclaimers, Copyrights & Other Legal Stuff page. This site seeks use permission from copyright holders and will not post if permission is denied. Whenever ownership information is obtained, I promptly correct the page. (For example, see this page.) I edited, adapted and supplemented this particular version: Copyright © 1997-2008, James S. Huggins. |
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